September 7, 2008

Resolving Conflicts and Keeping Friends

by Rev. Dr. Jim Carlson

Matthew 18:15-20

 

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How do we resolve religious differences in the church? How do we take ancient literature and apply it to our understanding of what we stand for and questions of right and wrong?

Community from which gospel of Matthew arose probably had to deal with similar questions.

First: Written fifty years after Jesus’ death. New situations arose.

Second: They were trying to follow Jesus’ interpretation of God’s laws. Considered themselves more faithful to God’s laws than other Jews around them.

Sometimes disagreements came up as to whether or not a certain behavior was against the law. This passage is about how to resolve those questions.

Example: If you find a hatchling chicken and can’t determine the owner, can you keep it, or is it stealing? Rabbinic law says it’s yours unless you see a mother hen within 50 yards. If you do, you must return it.

Conflicts like this should be resolved between the parties if possible.

If they cannot resolve the problem, the offended party brings witnesses and confronts the other person in front of witnesses.

If they still cannot resolve the conflict, the matter is brought before the church, and the church decides how to apply God’s law to the situation.

If the offended refuses to go along with the church’s ruling, he cannot be a part of the church anymore. He is unwilling to follow their stringent interpretation of God’s laws.

Before we consider how to apply this to our own lives, we have to be aware of a couple of things.

First: Passages uses the word “church”. Churches didn’t exist in Jesus’ day. Passage reflects later questions Jesus’ followers faced.

Second: Writer believed that Jesus had given the church divine authority to interpret the law.

Binding meant the law was to be applied to a particular situation.
Loosing meant the church did not think a law was to be applied to a particular situation.
Binding and loosing is often associated with forgiveness of sin. But not here.

What can we learn about resolving conflicts in our own situation? Lot’s of churches use this passage as a model for resolving church conflicts. It should not be used in that manner.

First: Baptists do not follow the Torah. Side with Paul in saying the Torah doesn’t apply. Have to keep that in mind.

Second: Question of church authority. In our church the individual has the right to decide how to interpret the Bible and practice it in their own lives.

Church cannot make a ruling and expect everyone to follow it.

Questions have been raised in the ABC about particular issues – appeals to the Torah have been made.

Attempts to make binding rulings have been rejected.

Doesn’t mean the church has no authority. We have been given divine authority and a divine mandate to exercise that authority.

Individual believers set examples for people to follow rather than demanding people follow them.

Third: Rigid approach to righteousness has to be read in the context of Matthew’s emphasis on forgiveness.

Passage is followed by Jesus telling Peter he should forgive someone who wrongs him seventy times seven times.

Lord’s Prayer is followed by a passage linking our own forgiveness to God’s forgiveness.

Any attempts to address wrongdoing have to emphasize forgiveness.

Fourth: Conflict should be resolved while saving as much face for other people involved.

The idea is not to make someone else look bad, but to balance righteousness with love for others in the community.

Most of the people who have a problem with others in the church end up avoiding talking about it.

Passage says to go to the person with whom you have a conflict and keep it between yourselves if you possibly can.

Settle conflicts with others in the manner that you would like someone to approach you.

Thirteen years ago, a policeman in New York City, Steven McDonald, tried to stop a robbery that was taking place in Central Park. He was shot by a fifteen-year-old teenager, Shavad Jones.

From that day, thirteen years ago, Steven McDonald has not moved anything below his neck. He breathes through a breathing tube and spends much of his day in a wheelchair.

He has taken on a new vocation, traveling to grade schools and high schools speaking about the need for forgiveness, and the need to practice non-violence in response to conflict and problems.

He tells his listeners that he has forgiven Shavad Jones, that in fact he forgives him everyday, for everyday he must deal with the pain of his massive afflictions. He encourages children to sign a pledge of non-violence, a commitment on their part to not use aggression or hurt in their dealings with each other.

Shavad Jones was released from prison and, only several days after his release, was killed. Steven McDonald's third grade son, Connor, went to his teacher after he heard his father's assailant had been killed and asked the teacher if they could pray for the man who shot and crippled his dad. Obviously, Steven McDonald and his wife are doing something right with their son. They are teaching him reconciliation as a way of life.

Don’t get me wrong. We should not overlook Jesus’ teaching about godliness here. We must respect others and allow ourselves to be held accountable when we have wronged someone else.

But the right to confront someone for what they’ve done must be balanced with the command to forgive others in the manner in which we would like to be forgiven.

This passage talks about achieving that balance among our sisters and brothers in the church. I would contend that this balance should govern the way we live our lives outside of the church always.

Jesus also says “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” That kind of attitude will bring resolution to a whole host of misdeeds, and will allow you to model the forgiveness God has shown to all of us.